The ADHD Leader & Building Relationships

Print Posted by Andrew on 25 October, 2012

The ADHD’er has many strengths associated with how their brain is wired and functions. Many ADHD’ers are impulsive and like to live life on the edge. These characteristics can sometimes derail a relationship before it has a chance to become anything.

But, there are other aspects that make ADHD’ers AMAZING friends such as being highly intuitive and often social butterflies. Let’s take a closer look at how our uniqueness leads us to be more intuitive and participatory.

ADHD’ers are a feeling people. A lot of us are highly sensitive as well as closely connected to our sub-conscious. How many of us have had situations where we blurt the first thing that comes into our consciousness/mind!?

No filter, I know, me too! But, if honed properly (a little filtration and awareness/understanding of those feelings), this can be a great benefit.
Because we are so connected to our sub-consciousness we sometimes feel things before the evidence supports our conclusion. Intuition is a feeling about what to do when there is a lack of science, evidence, data, etc. We can use our intuition to get a general feel about someone and what they are “about” before we actually have the opportunity to collect evidence.

Our uniqueness through the ways we interact with the environment also leads us to being more participatory than the black and white, hierarchal systems (often present in our schools and organizations.) One day during school I was uncomfortable because I had a wedgie and had just been yelled at by my teacher for standing up without permission. It was not uncommon for me not to be able to sit still. So it didn’t end well for me when I raised my hand asking if I could “pull my pants down.” Speaking from personal experience, I was one of those kids not able to sit in their chair, blurting out answers without raising my hand.

Non-ADHD'ers are left brain, linear thinkers and it is what our society grooms. Institutions try to produce convergent thinkers, it is what our school tests for. ADHD'ers are divergent thinkers relying on intuition and creativity, consistently thinking outside of the box. These are two fundamentally different ways of thinking and affects how we work with others. Non-ADHD'ers are more capable of learning and continuing on the hierarchical, linear path taking direction from others naturally.

Because ADHD'ers are wired differently and have very different learning experiences we tend to lean away from hierarchical, linear methods when we can. It is this difference that increases participatory behaviors and is incredibly important when leading others as well as when trying to make friends.

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