Friends of Quinn

“Mom can I be a builder guy....a helicopter pilot....an architect....a sculptor....a DJ....a film maker....a music producer....a professional skier.....surfer....skateboarder....baseball player....cartoon maker?????”  The list continues but this is just a few of the things my son asked about “being” when he grew up. My response was always the same, “You can be whatever you want to be as long as you always give it your best effort.” I have to say the surfer, skateboarder and sculptor episodes gave me lots of “oh dear” moments, and probably added to the gray hairs, but being supportive is a parent’s role.

Since Connor was not diagnosed with dyslexia until he was 10, I had no way of knowing that “being” something in his future could come with struggles and doubts. Doubts by him and doubts by me. What kind of jobs would he be good at? Would he be able to handle college? If you take a look at the list of things he asked about, you will notice they are all physical or creative. Guess that little boy brain was already telling us what his strengths would be.

I knew whatever he chose as a profession would need to involve being active and creative. A desk job would never be a fit for him. One thing I would say to parents is to really look at what your child gravitates to, what comes easier, what gives them joy? Don’t push them into a mold that you think is right or what society says is right. Would you want to do something that you don’t like everyday? Help them find their passion, support their growth in the things they do well, let them make a mess, build things, experiment. We had so many “contraptions” in our yard, garage or family room from Connor’s exploits with creativity. It was his way of “being good at something” and keeping that super active brain of his calmed down.

I can’t say that once Connor entered the world of the job-seeker he didn’t have his share of worries or doubts. He was always concerned about wether they would ask him to answer written questions or to write an essay. That takes time for him and he has a special way of doing that. My advice was just be YOU and they will see what you have to offer. So far he has been very successful and is on his way to finding the exact fit for his talents.

I think a lot of Connor’s success has to do with him believing in himself, FINALLY. He didn’t always and that was the biggest hurdle we faced. His dad and I NEVER stopped believing in him, but we never sugar coated that it might take a lot of work or that every effort would bring success. We just always told him that every experience was a lesson and to use it to learn. Parents need to be the rock, the place to vent and the person that really believes. They need to look into your eyes and always see hope!

*UPDATE*: Success! Connor just found an amazing job as a Web Designer/Development Manager in NYC! I am so proud of him. You can read Connor's blogs and see videos of him in action here. Stay tuned for an update from Connor this week, here on the Friends of Quinn blog.