Friends of Quinn

When you have ADHD and/or an LD, texting someone may be less intimidating and a more accurate way to get your thoughts out than calling.  However, texting too much can cause difficulties when you are dating or in a relationship.  Find out how texting may be sabotaging your love life.  

1.  You replace talking with texting.

Face it, being asked out for a date is so much better when someone calls or asks you in person - not when he or she texts you. Texting for a date conveys laziness, even if you are texting because talking on the phone is too much of a challenge.   However, if you really like someone, take the time out to actually talk to them.  It’s okay to be up front and say that you aren’t great with talking on the phone.  A good person (and that’s the kind you want to date) will be okay with that.  If he/she isn’t okay with that, it’s a good thing you didn’t waste any more time on them.   Remember, if things just aren't going to work out with someone, call them and tell them – don’t text it.  



2.  You text during a date. 

When someone is talking with you, turn off your phone and put it away. Answering texts while you are on a date is just rude. It gives the message that you don't care about what your date is saying (and it shows a lack of respect). Even if you think that texting during a date is generally accepted behavior, be different than everyone else. 

3.  You use texting to avoid intimacy.

Texting conveys short bits of information, but it doesn't replace bonding and intimacy. Bonding and intimacy are formed by sharing yourself (emotionally and intellectually – not just physically) with someone else. Texting just doesn't get the job done. Look at whether you are texting someone primarily because real intimacy freaks you out.

4.  You bicker over text.

You'll text things you would never actually say to your date's face. If you are having a disagreement, hold off until you can actually see the person. If seeing someone in person is geographically impossible at the moment, wait until you call him or her. Tone of speech can't be conveyed on text, and that can just lead to more confusion and hurt. If you're already bickering at the beginning of dating, take a look at whether the two of you are really compatible. 

5.  You only do sexting with your date. 

If you're looking for a long-term relationship, this is usually not the way to go. See #3. Sexting doesn't create intimacy. It may temporarily fire you up, but it's difficult to build a long-term relationship just based on sexting. There's something to be said for lending an air of mystery at first, and building up intimacy in person. 

6.  You use texts for instant gratification. 

You get upset when the Girl (or Boy) of Your Dreams doesn't text back immediately. That's life, though - people have jobs and other responsibilities. As much as someone may adore you, answering your text can’t be at the top of the priority list all the time. If you’ve texted someone and haven’t received a response, keep yourself busy.  The more you are busy doing other things, the less you will think about the text.