Friends of Quinn

In keeping with this week’s theme of success I’d like to start by telling a little bit about what has been happening to me recently. My life has been in a state of upheaval; I left my home in Minneapolis and moved 1600 miles with my fiancée to Portland, OR. I left my friends, my family, and my job, all in the hopes of assuring a successful future.

This transition has made me wonder, what is success? Is it money? Being respected? It’s probably different for everyone, but for me success just means being happy. Fortunately for me, my happiness is closely tied to spending time with my fiancée and doing fulfilling work. These last few years have been happier for me than any other time in my life.

It hasn’t been easy getting to this point. When I was younger and relationships of any kind were hard to come by, I would try to convince myself that they didn’t matter. From grades 8-11 I have any real friends. I spent 3 years without being invited to anyone’s house or even having anyone over to my place. By my senior year of high school I started to come into my own and made a few friendships that last to this day. I also learned to become more comfortable in my own skin and to stand behind my decisions.

The biggest choice I’ve had to defend was becoming a chef. In high school, I held the usual idea of success: a college education (probably ending with a Ph. D.), a high-paying job, a loving wife, and the average 2.4 kids. But eventually I accepted that academics didn’t provide the freedom and hands-on philosophy that I needed to thrive. I revised my definition of success when I decided to cook. I was unbelievably nervous about changing my life plans, and it took me a very long time to realize that happiness was more important to me than status. Fortunately, my parents were willing to support whatever made me happy.

I haven’t regretted my decision since I started cooking, and I consider my life to be a success. The response I get when I tell people I’m a chef is generally positive, something like “oh wow, that’s so cool” (and maybe I can thank the popularity of cooking shows for some of that). I’ve retained my intellectual curiosity and still seek out new information to learn as much as I can (which I think is important to remaining a well-rounded individual), but I do occasionally run into people who assume I’m less intelligent or successful than they are because I have a low-paying, manual job. Sometimes it bothers me, but I’ve learned that people who judge me in that way are just insecure about their own lives. My job is meaningful to me, and that’s enough.