Friends of Quinn

When you have a LD being bullied is a near certainty, particularly when you have a social LD like Aspergers. It is very hard to deal with. A lot of people see you as an outsider because you act differently.

In my childhood I was bullied frequently. Bullying in a physical sense, however, didn’t last much beyond middle school for me, thanks largely to the confidence, self-control, and technical skills that I gained through years of studying American Karate. I started when I was 6 years old and it gave me a sense of accomplishment and a much-needed dose of self-confidence.

If you are a parent reading this and your child is having issues with bullies, I cannot overstate how beneficial learning martial arts can be. The important thing is to choose a program that stresses non-violence. You learn the tools you need to be able to handle yourself in a fight if you were to need them, but more importantly you learn the self-control to not fight.

One particular example that I remember happened in the 8th grade. A guy was giving me a hard time in a home economics class, following me around the room, slapping me, “playfully” punching me in the shoulder, and just generally harassing me. This type of thing wasn’t uncommon for me, but somehow that day was different. I’d had enough.

I turned to face him and just stood my ground. I didn’t move forward or take any kind offensive posture; I just stopped running from him. He kept trying to get a rise out of me so I parried a couple of his slaps and punches which seemed slow compared to what I was used to in Karate class. When he still wouldn’t stop I shot a front kick out that just grazed the tip of his nose. He was visibly rattled, and I said, “The next one is going under your chin. Leave me the fuck alone.” And that did it. He went to the other side of the room and everyone else just kind of went back to what they were doing.

By not fighting but showing that I could, I had diffused the situation. The guy and I just started avoiding each other, and no one really tried to start anything physical with me again. I continued practicing karate into my 20s. After I got my second-degree black belt I became an instructor at my school, teaching other young people about the benefits of non-violent discipline.

In adulthood bullying isn’t much of an issue for me, largely because bullying is a childish thing to do and now I work with adults. The professional kitchen tends to attract people like myself who are very strange, very chill, and generally good-hearted. It helps that I work in a highly collaborative environment where no one benefits from someone else going down.